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A Life In The Day (43)


JOEL- A BARREL OF LAUGHS and WET PANTS
…………………………
 
When I got back to town , my first stop was to the Cantina con el nobre del ,”la playa del anjelos”

What a piece of shit that was for a name!? there was no beach! ha ha ha and there were no angels there either!!!!!!!!!! but they did have great food!!!! and a shit load of hooch! and girls !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next day after I had sated my hunger for civilised “Stuff”, I went to see Joel at the hospital and found out when we could leave. Apparently He was mended so I took Him to my room after we went to the cantina. While we sat there eating and drinking, He kept asking me all sorts of questions about what I had done.

Joel , knowing that I was as crazy as He was, sat there in awe as I told Him of what happened in the jungle with the bitches and the pack mentality in the past 5 days and all the things that I had learned about jungle survival. And He was incredulous when I told Him of the “WACKY” fruit that Carlos introduced me to. After breakfast , we went to check out our bikes, get extra plugs, filled our food bags. Joel’s leg was still a bit tender so I had to kick it over, then He got in the saddle,. We looked at each other and laughed, at what we would face in more, new adventures!

At our first campsite, I shared some of the things that Carlos had told me, like how to keep the mosquitoes away from us, which had been pretty much become a pain in the ass with us,(no pun!). So when we camped for the first night after His release, We made sure we stopped by a slow ambling stream with muddy banks. Before we set up camp, I told Joel to follow me to the stream and talk off His clothes, as I took off mine. I then told Him to follow my lead and lie down in the mud and wallow in it, (at least He didn’t think I was too crazy! hahahaha). Since it was still perty warm , I told Joel to walk around until the mud dried on us. After that we put on our clothes, looked at each other AND CRACKED UP!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahah.Two goofier looking guys have never walked civilized earth before! It was good to hear Joel laugh!, BUT IT did KEEP THE BUGS AWAY! We did this each and every morning before we started to ride again.

For the most part our journey was pretty much uneventful ……………with the exception of our encounter of the SOW BOAR! ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!

OK FOLKS! NOW GO PEE !!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha , you will if you haven’t, after reading this part!!!!!!!

It all happened just over the mountain range , in the valley jungle, on a day that Joel wanted to rest early. We were on no time schedule.

We were about 40 or 50 “klicks” south west of San Christobal. We had made camp early in the day. While Joel was setting up camp, I went to gather food of any sort, I carried my WHAMO slingshot with me, I had seen the fruit tree of, “the magical mystery tour bus”, and decided to REALLY show Joel all about it!

The sun wasn’t even down yet when I came back with 2 monkeys and a bird , AND 1 BIG RIPE Fruit from the tree of DISNEY LAND! hahahaha. As we sat there prepping our food , we heard a strange type of ……….SQUEAL (?)

After , both of us having been “good boy scouts”, and living in the jungle for the time we did,we both knew “tracking” skills. The local Indians would have thought we were of the tribe! (WHICH WILL HAPPEN LATER!!) hahaha. We proceeded to go from down wind to the sound. (We made ourselves VERY PROUD! )

We creeped up with stealth and came to the ridge. As we looked over, we both dropped our jaws!!!!!!! hahahaha, what we saw was beyond belief!!!!!!!!

There before us, not 20 yards in front of us, was a MASSIVE Boar Sow that had to be at LEAST 3 feet at the shoulders, and at her feet, between her legs, was a remnant of the Wacky fruit she had eaten! She must have eaten the WHOLE THING! hahahaha ..

She just stood there with all 4 feet spread apart just looking at the tree trunk in front of her, STARING!! hahahahahaha. Her mouth was agape , drooling AND JUST STARING!!!! HAHAHA HA ……Her eyes were glassy like any good “DOPER” of the day!, HAHAHAHA………..

All 8 of her teats were dripping milk like poor plumbing in BEDFORD STY.HAHAHAHAHA

Her tail was like those old “whamo” toys that, as a kid we would hook up to a water hose , turn on the water and have it go BONKERS in the air , spraying water all around! Her tail looked like it was on “speed!”. hahahahahahaha !!!…………

Joel and I lay there LAUGHING our asses off!!!!!! We couldn’t contain ourselves! HA HA HA HA HA . We were rolling on the ground!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA …..LAUGHING AND PISSING OUR PANTS!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ……We looked even sillier by the fact that the tears running down our muddied faces, were leaving tracks that made us look even funnier!!

We had to hold each other up as we walked back to camp, because of our laughing fits. Every time we would stop our laughing , Joel or I would “OINK”, AND OFF WE’D GO AGAIN, LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. We staggered like drunks on a bender, but all we had was a little “Sangria”, to wet our whistles. As our food cooked, I told Joel that that was what the “wacky fruit” did to those that ate of it in any amount.

We decided to sleep in the trees that night for safety’s sake, in case the Boar Sow came around pissed and hungry after she came down from her “high”.

E S D

Posted by Gaby at Sunday, May 04, 2008

 

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